August 2009
July 2009
Why Michael and I need to get married. (kind of long)
- Michael: fingernails grow annoyingly fast
- Hannah: i know right!!!
- Michael: always fucking cutting them
- Michael: i dunno what people did before nail clippers
- Hannah: um
- Hannah: scissors
- Michael: like mash your fingers into abraisive rocks
- Hannah: chewed them
- Michael: eww
- Hannah: sorry
- Hannah: BUT ITS THE TRUTH
- Michael: i wouldnt have done that
- Hannah: cavemen had bigger things to worry about than nails
- Michael: like what
- Hannah: like getting fucked by a large anmial
- Hannah: both literally and figuratively
- Michael: hhaha
- Michael: i was going to aslk
- Michael: maybe it would be advantagous to have nails to poke critters with
- Hannah: this is true
- Hannah: or poke a lady you are interested in
- Michael: with my fingernail
- Michael: i think not
- Michael: i'd just impress her with the rabbit or something i killed
- Hannah: rabbit?
- Hannah: come on
- Hannah: that is so lame
- Michael: turtle?
- Hannah: turtle is too chic
- Hannah: us ladies like something large and bloody
- Michael: porquipine
- Hannah: perfect
- Hannah: COME ON
- Hannah: that is so awful
- Michael: the most annoying animal to eat.
- Hannah: boooooo
- Hannah: you will get no caveladies
- Michael: eagle
- Hannah: YES
- Hannah: THAT IS PERFECT
- Michael i wouldn't do that though
- Hannah: COME ON
- Michael: i catch fishes
- Hannah: oh booooooo
- Michael: FISHES HAVE OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDS
- Hannah: oh wait
- Hannah: that's true
- Hannah: the caveladies would be all awww you're thinking about my health!
- Michael: thats right
- Michael: and cave babies because they are essential for development
- Hannah: cave babies would be all up in your shit
- Hannah: totally not pedophilia-esque though
- Michael: yeah
- Michael: i hear that
“This is your copy of Advanced Potion-Making, is it, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, still breathing hard. “You’re quite sure of that, are you, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry, with a touch of more defiance. “This is the the copy of Advanced Potion-Making that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?” “Yes,” said Harry firmly. “Then why,” asked Snape, “does it have the name ‘Roonil Wazlib’ written inside the front cover?”
—Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (via omgharrypotter)
