The 7 year old I babysit poured water on my head today and this was the apology she wrote me.
Chicken dance - Verona 19/05/2013
#has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken before?
(Source: zarryaremine, via bethjc)
We women, with our sumptuous breasts and our shapely hips, have to be funny in order literally to survive. Our curves render us useless for just about anything except cracking wise and quip-firing. Sometimes our breasts are so big that we actually can’t move; we have no choice but to sit very still in one place and come up with joke after joke. Sometimes—though rare—our hips are so wide, that we physically cannot fit through the exit door of the comedy club that our office co-workers dragged us to after happy hour. So the only option available to us is to stay inside the comedy club, absorbing comedy act after comedy act, and in so doing, completing the full transformation from comedy student to comedy master. — Ellie Kemper asks: Can Men be Funny?
If evolved means that I can like the Foo Fighters, vintage pinball and Clover and Daisy, then thank you. I’m evolved. —
Gordo, Lizzie McGuire
This is how I feel any time someone is confused about how I am able to enjoy something like One Direction as well as something like Neutral Milk Hotel. Enjoying one thing does not negate or cancel out the enjoyment of another thing. They are not mutually exclusive, and I don’t get the same kind of joy or satisfaction from everything. Everyone needs to calm down, stop being shitty about what other people like, and get in touch with their inner Clover and Daisy fan.
(Source: demeurer, via unabsolutelyfabulous)
Either my mom is working on a character for a variety show I am not aware of or she is officially becoming the Long Island Nagging Mother she inevitably will morph into.
Today on the phone I told her there are almost always helicopters buzzing around my neighborhood and she said “what, the rich people all have their own helicopters?” and when I told her it was often for less good reasons she had a stony face and said “Come home.”
(Source: fatherjohnmisty, via lowerclasscharm)