My roommates helped me cancel both of my debit cards (french and american), so at least that’s good. I lost a good bit of cash, which sucks, but whatever, I can handle that. Hope you are able to buy all of the butt plugs your stupid heart desires with that. 

But the thing that really bothers me is the fact that within my wallet, you stole a very large piece of my life. My dear Mr. or Ms. Shitbag, there were notes and drawings from high school in that wallet. A friend of mine, Leda, wrote me a rap junior year set to the tune of “ardy party.” the two pages of lyrics were in there. My friend Chelsea drew me a little note that says “I *hat* Hannah” when I was having a really bad day freshman year. After a very influential person in my life passed away, an equally influential person wrote me an email. I printed that out and stuck it in my wallet. My best friend Hannah had written me a note in Spanish senior year when we were bored out of our minds. That’s gone forever too.

There were business cards from people I admired, a note from Jorma that says “Dear Hannah: LA gets better!,” an email address and password for someone at Current (don’t worry, Cockmuncher, you won’t be able to get onto any servers), and a sliver of a picture of my friend Michael at prom when he looked more dopey than usual.

Basically, you asswipe, you stole a large part of my life. I don’t give a shit about the money. You were obviously so fucking concerned with yourself that you needed to steal it. But along with taking a few dollars, you also stole some incredibly sentimental moments from my past. And living in a foreign country, so fucking far away from everyone who knows me and loves me and cares about me, that really fucking sucks.

Just like you.

You twatty twatty twatface.

Love,

Hannah